Accounts of a Meta Defector

Let Me Go 

There's always a gap before entering a new chapter.

Turn the page.

Re center your eyesight on the message.

Recently I traveled to Austin to finish a full length Alt/Country record I started in early 2022.  I played a songwriter festival, and a few other shows around town.  My network has dwindled.  My performances were not great. On my two day drive home I felt exhausted, moody, scared, let down.  

I have a habit of holding things up high and developing more meaning around them than what's actually sustainable…

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Sincerely, 2023 

Finally.  Here is a moment of relief.  

It's been a difficult year.  

I've let go of so much.  The challenge seemed almost impossible at first, but I'm really beginning to understand how reality likes to work. 

You don't keep anything in the end, so what is the point of holding on to everything until then?  Especially when the things you're holding onto aren't even real, or essential to experiencing joy, love, peace, or the fulfillment inherent in truly living life.

PART I

In November 2022 my partner and I moved…

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Head Trauma 

On February 22, 2023, my longtime sister/friend - a woman I've shared endless support and humor with over the past 18 years - wrecked her car into the back of a box truck driving home to Truckee on Highway 80.  Nobody seemed to know if she would live or die, and if she lived, how she would come back from it - a traumatic brain injury holds so many unknowns.  It was a fragile first week, I checked in with her husband as often as I could to try to fill in the picture with any new information.  Nothing…

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A Candle in the Wind 

 

Tell me, does anything ever truly stand still?  I have felt at times as though the world is falling - so fast - and I'm hanging in midair, the parts and pieces of everything slicing through the space close to me, my hair suspended, my limbs floating.

Even then, when I am most still, I am moved by my breath.  And by the subtle lap of my own emotions playing quietly upon the shore.  I am moved by the rich landscapes of my imagination, which imitates my wishes, and brings them to life.

Always in nature, a…

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The Cycle  

 

We rode our bikes around the east side when the sun finally showed.  A sweet scent of magnolia blooms and roses and wet ground - all the moisture, summoned upward by the light, was carrying their essence.  Isn't it alarming how quickly things dry out in this heat?  And the clouds hang overhead in vast heaps, reminding you of what you've just been through.  A promise of the cycle.  

…..

I'm always delighted when I see a church steeple.  Its simple beauty is cliché, but it works.  Its purpose - to direct…

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Quantum Disentanglement 

I don't want to assume that you've come here looking for me after finding my Meta pages dead. You’re probably my mom, or a distant friend I haven't seen in 10 years - hi :) - but if you have been searching, here am I.  A part of me, anyway.  My presence on social media has been truncated.  In its place a sign from the universe - perhaps my time is better spent living life in real form.  I've suspected it, but somehow the shocking prod of modern pressures and the pursuit of myself as some distant version of…

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